The Indian Software Football team

Got this in my mail today:

How would India-Based IT Services Company (IBITSCO) tackle the game of football?

1. It would start with only 3 players (including goalie) at the start of the match and ramp up to 11 by the end of 90 minutes. It will attempt to have at-least 7 players on the field at halftime

2. 9 of the 11 players will be India-based

3. Out of the 11 players announced as the first 11 for the game, 8 would be hockey players, 1 would have kicked a ball sometime and advertisements for vacancies for the other 2 positions would be out in the newspapers.

4. All 11 players would be handed over a soccer manual 3 days before the 1st game and asked to learn everything in it by the next 72 hours, including the flight journey to the venue for the soccer match.

5. The team would be paid half the allowance of the other teams.

6. One (and only one) very high paid consultant would be hired (just for the duration of the tournament) to "advise" the team on how to play soccer.

7. Feasibility to playing the game offshore would be considered owing to cost reasons.

8. The suggestion of using 22 lower skilled footballers instead of the usual 11, in an infinite-substitution mode would be mooted.

9. Internally, there would be deliberations on whether there is any process standard for football by which you can say anyone who is at least 28 years old and has played at least 3 football games would be eligible for the squad

10. Immediately after the match, the playing 11 would be asked to board the next flight to Istanbul where they would be needed to play a handball match the next day!